When you need to make a request of someone who will not be receptive you could trying taking an indirect route to getting a message across. Ask a carefully chosen person to intervene on your behalf. Not only is this effective in getting what you want but this plan also has two positive side effects. First, you flatter the person by placing them in your confidence and making them feel as if they have influence. Second, you have created the illusion that you are not involved in the decision. Thus, you have avoided risk if the request backfires.
Know who your friends are and keep them happy. Share your good fortunes. Don't profit from their losses.
Sometimes we project onto others characteristics that seem to be missing from our loved ones. Thus, we think these people possess attributes that they really don't have.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 5 (Season 1 Episode 5: College)
"No man can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
You can piece things together if you pay close attention to what is going on around you. Too many days go by without real awareness.
Use the power of deduction to solve problems.
Success is sometimes just luck of circumstance.
There is a price to be paid for what we want. You just need to make sure that you know the cost.
Sometimes in conversation neither party is truly listening to each other.
If you need to confront someone it's best to do it when their guard is down.
You can piece things together if you pay close attention to what is going on around you. Too many days go by without real awareness.
Use the power of deduction to solve problems.
Success is sometimes just luck of circumstance.
There is a price to be paid for what we want. You just need to make sure that you know the cost.
Sometimes in conversation neither party is truly listening to each other.
If you need to confront someone it's best to do it when their guard is down.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 4 (Episode 4: Meadowlands)
Obviously, there are so many different aspects of the Sopranos that I'm not discussing. First, the writing and intricate plot twists, the absolutely well choreographed interplay of words that sometimes pop a wallop and sometimes just make you laugh. I should also acknowledge the homage the show does to so many excellent wise guy genre movies before it. Even the subtle humour from time to time, like real life, that brings a breath of humanity to a show that is seeped in underlying darkness. I believe what made the Sopranos ultimately so popular was how alike the characters and story lines were to us, the viewers. We don't pass judgement. We take what we can from the Sopranos and think about how it relates to us. It's really a story of us. All of us. What I'm reporting on here is not necessarily what you should do. Should you always act this calculating in your relations to others? Probably not. So, don't think of this is a real guide. It's more of how people really behave especially when they believe the mean always justifies the end. It's rather fitting then that these observations have turned quite Machiavellian in their scope. Fitting because Machiavelli, after all, was a good Italian.
This episode introduced dreams as a way of analyzing the lead character's many concerns. I believe dreams are our subconscious trying to work out our issues. So, even random dream sequences can have a deep meaning. They are seeped in metaphors that only you can unlock.
There has been one personality that has been discussed but not fully fleshed out yet that needs to be in order to continue. It's been mentioned before that some people no matter how hard you try will not be happy. Every time you attempt to do something nice for this person they counteract it with something negative. They are very dramatic and like to say they no longer wish to live. This person is toxic. If you can stay away from this person you should. Unfortunately for Tony it's his mother so what's he going to do?
All it takes is one thing to threaten to bring the entire house of cards down. It's important to respect that balance.
If you are in a power struggle that you can't resolve without serious consequences there is an alternative. Let the other person win. Okay, don't let them really win but make them think they won. Meanwhile the person really pulling the strings is you. It doesn't hurt too if you are creating a convenient diversion away from yourself and onto this person.
Often those around us can suffer second hand consequences of what we do and or say.
Never question the boss' leadership. Your job is to follow. Don't provide advice unless you are asked.
This episode introduced dreams as a way of analyzing the lead character's many concerns. I believe dreams are our subconscious trying to work out our issues. So, even random dream sequences can have a deep meaning. They are seeped in metaphors that only you can unlock.
There has been one personality that has been discussed but not fully fleshed out yet that needs to be in order to continue. It's been mentioned before that some people no matter how hard you try will not be happy. Every time you attempt to do something nice for this person they counteract it with something negative. They are very dramatic and like to say they no longer wish to live. This person is toxic. If you can stay away from this person you should. Unfortunately for Tony it's his mother so what's he going to do?
All it takes is one thing to threaten to bring the entire house of cards down. It's important to respect that balance.
If you are in a power struggle that you can't resolve without serious consequences there is an alternative. Let the other person win. Okay, don't let them really win but make them think they won. Meanwhile the person really pulling the strings is you. It doesn't hurt too if you are creating a convenient diversion away from yourself and onto this person.
Often those around us can suffer second hand consequences of what we do and or say.
Never question the boss' leadership. Your job is to follow. Don't provide advice unless you are asked.
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Wisdom of The Sopranos Part 3 (Season 1 Episode 3: Denial, Anger, Acceptance)
Three of the stages of grief are in the title of this episode: Denial, Anger, Acceptance. That alone is probably worthy on it's own as a blog subject on wisdom. How true are these stages of grief?
When I began my premise that the Sopranos would provide life lessons and wisdom in every episode I might have missed something else. It also provides a window into different personalities. So, while I will continue to focus on wisdom I would like to expand into a personality profile when it's been presented.
This episode had an interesting personality. It's someone we all know. The person who seems to know everything and everyone with medical problems. This person seems to feed on other people's misery. They believe they mean well but really they don't. Not really. Everyone experiences things differently and there can truly be no comparisons.
Wisdom wise this episode is seemingly thin on content but here's what I have...
Be careful about knowing all the ends and outs of an agreement beforehand. Know not only what you are trying to accomplish but who you are trying to obtain something from. Have a battle plan mapped out first. You might want to decline certain agreements if you are unfamiliar with the layout of the operation. At least become knowledgeable about the who, what, when, where and how of your plan. Also, sometimes a person's will is greater than you think - never underestimate people.
Sometimes it's necessary to react to other's actions against you. It's important to remember what you want to accomplish in seeking punishment. Do what is necessary but not excessive unless there are no other alternatives. Consider the consequences of your response on others. Not only can others be hurt by how you respond but they in turn can retaliate against you. And then you can forgetaboutit....
When I began my premise that the Sopranos would provide life lessons and wisdom in every episode I might have missed something else. It also provides a window into different personalities. So, while I will continue to focus on wisdom I would like to expand into a personality profile when it's been presented.
This episode had an interesting personality. It's someone we all know. The person who seems to know everything and everyone with medical problems. This person seems to feed on other people's misery. They believe they mean well but really they don't. Not really. Everyone experiences things differently and there can truly be no comparisons.
Wisdom wise this episode is seemingly thin on content but here's what I have...
Be careful about knowing all the ends and outs of an agreement beforehand. Know not only what you are trying to accomplish but who you are trying to obtain something from. Have a battle plan mapped out first. You might want to decline certain agreements if you are unfamiliar with the layout of the operation. At least become knowledgeable about the who, what, when, where and how of your plan. Also, sometimes a person's will is greater than you think - never underestimate people.
Sometimes it's necessary to react to other's actions against you. It's important to remember what you want to accomplish in seeking punishment. Do what is necessary but not excessive unless there are no other alternatives. Consider the consequences of your response on others. Not only can others be hurt by how you respond but they in turn can retaliate against you. And then you can forgetaboutit....
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 2 (Season 1 Episode 2: 46 Long)
The Wisdom of the Sopranos for the 2nd Episode is more a list of observations about others.
On the pilot episode one of the points of wisdom was that some people you can't make happy. Usually these are the same people who have the ability to make you feel guilty. Their influence in your life can be very negative if you allow them this power to control your sense of well-being. Identifying these people in your life and adjusting their power over you can provide for a better outlook on things.
Some people do things, even nice things, for the wrong reasons.
When you are working as a team it's important to follow those in leadership, even when you disagree. Sticking together is vital. Running off and doing your own thing is not working together and can splinter the team.
What doesn't offend one person might still offend another.
Not everyone is suited to parenthood.
Wisest quote of this episode "Own the anger instead of displacing it otherwise it defines your life."
On the pilot episode one of the points of wisdom was that some people you can't make happy. Usually these are the same people who have the ability to make you feel guilty. Their influence in your life can be very negative if you allow them this power to control your sense of well-being. Identifying these people in your life and adjusting their power over you can provide for a better outlook on things.
Some people do things, even nice things, for the wrong reasons.
When you are working as a team it's important to follow those in leadership, even when you disagree. Sticking together is vital. Running off and doing your own thing is not working together and can splinter the team.
What doesn't offend one person might still offend another.
Not everyone is suited to parenthood.
Wisest quote of this episode "Own the anger instead of displacing it otherwise it defines your life."
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 1 (Season 1, Episode 1:Pilot)
It's hard to believe that it's been over a decade since the first episode of the Sopranos aired. It's been a theory of mine for quite some time that not only was the Sopranos a well written television show with many inter-connected stories but it also contained deeply meaningful life lessons. So now I'm off to see if this theory holds any truths. Before I started I thought I'd Google Sopranos Wisdom. I was a little surprised to find the book The Tao of the Bada Bing. Words of Wisdom From the Sopranos. What I find even more interesting is the author of this book is none other than David Chase. If he thought the Sopranos was full of wisdom I suppose I'm on to something. So here I go...
Webster Dictionary Definition of Wisdom: The quality of being wise; knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it; knowledge of the best ends and the best means, discernment and judgement; discretion, sagacity; skill; dexterity
Episode 1: The Pilot. Before I watched this little gem of an episode I already had some ideas of what I wanted to say in terms of wisdom. I didn't realize the breadth of useful lessons packed into this one episode. There are the very obvious points to consider. If your going to gamble don't borrow money from the mob. Planning on stashing a body? Have a game plan already in place. Okay, I'm jumping ahead here but I remember that later this body has to moved at least one more time! Another great lesson is if you shoot someone with a gun and you know the blood is going to splatter the best place probably is a butcher shop. After all who's going to question blood everywhere? But, these are not really the wisdom tidbits I was going for. Not really. I mean hopefully none of these lessons apply to my life. Hopefully, they don't apply to any one's life that I know.
So, let's talk about actually useful points. Some people no matter how hard you try will not be happy.
If you need something corner your prey. Isolate them and go in for the kill. Don't think of kill in a literal sense. I'm talking more like close the deal.
Have a problem you can't solve? Try to think of a way around the problem and then you can begin to chip away at the issue until you find a solution. It might take several attempts before you resolve the problem but you can find resolution if you are persistent.
Don't forget to tell your employees or family members (if you get my drift) when they do a good job. If you fail to recognize their accomplishments they might stop being loyal.
Remember that if you say something hurtful to a loved one, even in passing, it may not be forgotten. What you say can come back on you even years later.
Sometimes things seem important to you but it might only be because of what they represent.
Keep your ties alive to your ancestors. They can be a source of inspiration and pride.
Hope comes in many forms (this is a direct quote...) Really, this is all in just one episode of the Sopranos. I can't wait to re-watch the next episode and blog back on my findings...the research continues.
Webster Dictionary Definition of Wisdom: The quality of being wise; knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it; knowledge of the best ends and the best means, discernment and judgement; discretion, sagacity; skill; dexterity
Episode 1: The Pilot. Before I watched this little gem of an episode I already had some ideas of what I wanted to say in terms of wisdom. I didn't realize the breadth of useful lessons packed into this one episode. There are the very obvious points to consider. If your going to gamble don't borrow money from the mob. Planning on stashing a body? Have a game plan already in place. Okay, I'm jumping ahead here but I remember that later this body has to moved at least one more time! Another great lesson is if you shoot someone with a gun and you know the blood is going to splatter the best place probably is a butcher shop. After all who's going to question blood everywhere? But, these are not really the wisdom tidbits I was going for. Not really. I mean hopefully none of these lessons apply to my life. Hopefully, they don't apply to any one's life that I know.
So, let's talk about actually useful points. Some people no matter how hard you try will not be happy.
If you need something corner your prey. Isolate them and go in for the kill. Don't think of kill in a literal sense. I'm talking more like close the deal.
Have a problem you can't solve? Try to think of a way around the problem and then you can begin to chip away at the issue until you find a solution. It might take several attempts before you resolve the problem but you can find resolution if you are persistent.
Don't forget to tell your employees or family members (if you get my drift) when they do a good job. If you fail to recognize their accomplishments they might stop being loyal.
Remember that if you say something hurtful to a loved one, even in passing, it may not be forgotten. What you say can come back on you even years later.
Sometimes things seem important to you but it might only be because of what they represent.
Keep your ties alive to your ancestors. They can be a source of inspiration and pride.
Hope comes in many forms (this is a direct quote...) Really, this is all in just one episode of the Sopranos. I can't wait to re-watch the next episode and blog back on my findings...the research continues.
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