The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 25 (Season 2 Episode Funhouse)

This episode was a perfect example of the 5 Stages of Grief:  Denial.  Bargaining. Depression. Anger.  Awareness.  (Note: This revelation didn't come to me until after I began writing this edition.  How clever!)

Sometime we don't want to believe something we ignore the evidence/signs.  We live in a state of denial.

Dreams can have hidden memories. Dreams can act out hidden urges.

Tony is made vulnerable by food poisoning. As a result Tony admits to Carmella that he is depressed and that it all "a big nothing".  Carmella tells Tony that is his mom talking.

Tony gave his mother plane tickets that he got in scam.  He was angry with her and maybe sub-consciously gave them to her in hopes that she would encounter difficulties.  Also, he would experience the drama as a result. 

When you create a distraction you can often find out the truth.

Dr. Melfi knew something was wrong with Tony during their session.  Words are not the only clues to a person's state of mind.  There are other clues in their behavior that alert you to their real state.

If you are wondering why all the grief...Tony had been ignoring all the signs that Pussy was an F.B.I. informant.  In this episode it is finally revealed and dealt with.  So long Pussy...

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 24 (Season 2 Episode The Knight in White Satin Armor)

This is an episode that has an explosive ending that I have hinted at in the past.  I have been anxiously waiting watching this one over again.

Old themes are starting to pull together at the close of Season 2.  New themes are developing.

Old themes would be the relationship with Tony's mother.  New themes would be how Tony is attracted to the same type of woman.  Which ironically is also tied to the old theme.  But, more to reveal later.

Tony provided a wise quote from this episode, "those who want respect give respect".

When Tony tries to leave his girlfriend of two years she threatens to kill herself. She makes good on her word but is fortunately unsuccessful.  We will see that this pattern becomes a reoccurring theme and a lesson for Tony to learn down the road.  He will finally put the pieces together about this truth and how his mother influenced these poor decisions. 

Richie is still trying to permanently eliminate Tony.  With Jr.'s blessing Richie tries to get others in the extended family to agree to the move.  However, he failed.  After telling Jr. that he wasn't able to get an agreement Jr. has a change of heart.  As he tells Bobby that he feels that he would be better off with Tony because Richie "couldn't sell it".  He didn't have everyone's respect.  Jr. realized that he was backing the wrong horse.  So, Jr. pulls a fast one and warns Tony about Richie's plan.  When Jr. admitted that he knew about the plot because Richie told him in his own home you could see the look on his face.  He was worried that Tony wouldn't believe him.  Fortunately for him Tony decided to trust Jr. even after all their bad history. Sometimes it's best to step back from a problem and look at it without emotion and analyze it for the best outcome.

After learning about the threat on his life Tony decides to take out Richie.  Little did he know that a few hours later his sister would be calling him to his mother's house to cart off the body of Richie.  Which leaves me to a very big wisdom lesson - don't piss off a woman!  Richie and Janice were arguing.  Towards the end of the argument Janice was saying what does it matter even if Richie's son was gay.  That made Richie hit Janice in the jaw with this fist.  Not a slap mind you but a full on hit.  Then he said the meanest thing " Oh what, you gonna cry now?" Janice took the gun and wham Richie was taken out. If all men who abused could just suffer the same consequence!

Before Tony leaves the house after cleaning up the evidence there is a scene between Tony and his mother.  When his mother begins to say bad things about Janice he tells Janice to leave.  Then Tony begins to confront his mother about their upbringing.  I don't think that it was until just then that Tony realized his mother really doesn't understand what she did.  As Tony is dropping Janice off at the bus station they talk briefly about why they are the way they are.  Tony admits to Janice that he is going to a psychiatrist and that she thinks it's because they were raised by a woman who had a narcissistic personality who can't experience joy. 

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 23 (Season 2 House Arrest)

Note:  I'm going to try to quicken the pace of these blogs from now on.  So, check back often!

This episodes themes: Distraction and Avoidance.

Tony is driven to insulate himself from the business in an effort to fool the authorities after all that murder business and Dr. Melfi is distracting herself with alcohol using it as a coping mechanism. 

Tony, in trying to avoid his normal routine, has found more time to think about things which is leading him into a depressive state.  Dr. Melfi describes to Tony the anti-social personality disorder Alexithymia.  The sign of this disorder is the need to be in constant motion.  People with this disorder do not fair well when they have to slow down.  Without directly saying so Dr. Melfi is suggesting that is what Tony suffers from.   Further, Dr. Melfi doesn't want to admit that she has a serious drinking problem. 

When Tony is confronted about his future brother-in-law selling cocaine on the garbage route after he specifically told him to stop Tony ignores what is being said to him and keeps himself distracted with a mundane task. 

Tony apparently has had enough of this slow down and returns to his crime family at the end of the episode and quickly reestablishes himself.

In summary this episode's pearls of wisdom:

Everyone has stereotypes about others. 

If you are trying to hide what you are doing insulated by changing what you are doing and avoiding the appearance of any wrong doing.

It happens sometimes that the behavior you claim to abhor you actual start mimicking that very behavior.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 22 (Season 2 Episode Bust Out)

sociopath

 

a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

 

 

Tony Soprano would make a great subject for someone studying a sociopath.  He has no sense of boundaries and has the inability to draw lines at where friendship ends and abuse begins.  He feels completely justified in ruining someone's life because he is owed a debt.  I get that, I might feel the same.  But, what unnerves me is how he tries to be friendly to this individual.  As if they can somehow preserve their history of friendship.  He's unaware that his actions have consequences.  Or it could be he just doesn't care.  He really seems unaware.  If he had that awareness maybe he would find another way around the debt he is owed.  It's a good example of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

 

But, back to the Wisdom of the Sopranos.  Sometimes it's best to know all the facts before speaking.  I do wonder about the nativity of some people.  There is a witness to the killing from the previous episode.  The witness sees photos of the murder and witnessed Tony and another man (it was Pussy) leaving the scene.  Now I don't know much about the study of criminology but wouldn't the fact that these murders didn't really fit the stereotype of a random act of violence.  If it's not random then what would it be?  Now I'm not saying you should turn a blind eye to crime.  But, maybe a little selectivity might be necessary.   Here's another aspect of this little wisdom - maybe you will not question why people don't come forward when they witness something.  Maybe they are scared.   Honestly, wouldn't you be scared?

 

Carmella is caught in bed reading Memoirs of a Geisha.  Maybe she identifies a bit?

 

When children get older they start to see their parents as people.  Meadow has been experiencing this with her father for some time.  In this episode Tony has a little too much to drink and has a conversation with Meadow.  He told her that he knew that she was more like him than her mother.  He also told her that everything he does is for her and her brother.  Tony does tell Meadow that she knows she thinks he is a hypocrite.  As Meadow walks away she tells her dad that, "sometimes we are all hypocrites."  Isn't that true?

 

If you are tempted by something you shouldn't put yourself in a place where you can succumb to temptation.  Stay away.

 

It should be noted that Janice is just as manipulative as her mother.  Back to the parent/child relationship.  Sometimes no matter how hard you try there are aspects of your parents that are part of you. 

 

When Tony is talking to Dr. Melfi he discusses the possibility that he creates his own dramas.  That is true for him and so many other people. 

 

The best wisdom comes at the very end.  While Tony is showing his son Anthony how to steer his boat (and going fast causing a small boat to tip over - because he doesn't have empathy - he's a sociopath you know).  He says that when steering a boat you have to anticipate your moves in advance because you can't break or turn quickly.   Very true Tony.  Very true.