The main theme in the episode was sons. Tony realizes the root cause of his panic attacks and the parallel experiences of Anthony Jr. It's also about Jackie Jr. (The previous boss' son who is going to college and whose father didn't want him involved in the family business.) There are comparisons between the futures of Jackie Jr. and Anthony Jr.
Understanding root cause will help keep panic attacks at bay. Dr. Melfi brought up the point that anytime Tony has these attacks there is meat involved. Later Tony remembers one time where he witnessed his father cut off the pinkie of the meat butcher. Tony's dad tells him that the butcher owed money because he was a gambler and that Tony should NEVER gamble and that a man should honor his debts. Later that same night when his mother received meat from the same butcher she was very happy. His dad and mother were full of joy, laughing and dancing in the kitchen together. Then Tony focused on the meat and passed out. It was his first panic attack but he didn't realize it at the time. Dr. Melfi sees it as a connection to how Tony will have to be the one to deliver the bacon when he grew up. (Tony's mother was apparently always happy when she received her meat delivery. Probably because she knew why they never paid for the meat. It's a similar pattern being played now with Carmella seducing Tony whenever she suspects he has done something violent or illegal. It turns her on just as it did Tony's mother years before.)
Things that seem good at first can actually end up bad.
Even secrets that you think are well kept about yourself can still be known to others.
There are times when the best thing to do is not say anything. Don't add fuel to the verbal fire.
When you are desperate you do desperate things.
Lastly, we are sometimes destined to repeat history. When Anthony Jr. is named Defensive Captain of his football team because he has been shown to be a leader he passes out. Most certainly that is Anthony Jr.'s first panic attack.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Saturday, January 3, 2015
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 27 (Season 3 Proshai, Livushka)
I couldn't resist but to link the video for Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from the Wizard of Oz...
But in all seriousness it was unfortunate that the actress Nancy Marchand who played Livia Soprano died. She played her last role to perfection. So, I hope that she wouldn't have minded the reference.
When it comes to panic attacks sometimes it's not triggered by the direct source of anxiety but something that reminds you of it. It's like an echo of your sub-conscious that triggers an attack.
But in all seriousness it was unfortunate that the actress Nancy Marchand who played Livia Soprano died. She played her last role to perfection. So, I hope that she wouldn't have minded the reference.
When it comes to panic attacks sometimes it's not triggered by the direct source of anxiety but something that reminds you of it. It's like an echo of your sub-conscious that triggers an attack.
When someone dies that you are close to you don't always know how to act. You don't know how to respond to other's sympathetic words and actions. If you are the person providing these words of sympathy you don't always know what to say.
At one point Tony saw through everyone's "bullshit" as he called it. The only person who seemed truly upset over Livia's death was his Uncle Junior.
Sometimes when someone dies it brings up memories that you might have suppressed. (Artie remembered when Livia told him about Tony having his old restaurant burned down.)
Livia's "best friend" remembered her as someone that would always let her know when someone was in the hospital or died. She thought that was admirable. But, we all know that is Livia sharing her joylessness. The motivations of people is not always clear unless you know them intimately.
Throughout this episode you see Tony watching an old James Cagney movie, The Public Enemy. James Cagney plays a mobster with a loving mother. Certainly NOT the life Tony Soprano had. Which brings me to the last point of wisdom of this movie. Watching movies can be therapeutic. During the scene where James Cagney's character was coming home his mother was shown as being happy preparing his room but meanwhile he is being delivered as a corpse to the front door. That made Tony cry. Who hasn't watched a movie and had a moment where you could relate or wish you could relate?
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 26 (Season 3 Episode Mr. Ruggerio's Neighborhood)
Not much going on in this episode. They are easing into the season by re-introducing you to the characters and presenting where they are now. I know that this season is one of the best (before it starts to take a serious dip in the rest of the series with the exception of some individual gems). In some ways the beginning of Season 3 marks the beginning of the end. So, without trying this episode reminds me of the old proverb "all good things must come to an end".
Create an effective disguise and watch for patterns in behavior in order to gain access. The level of cleverness is increased when the object of your focus is someone equally as clever.
Don't forget to be aware of verbal clues. It's important to notice when it's no longer comfortable or desirable to continue that line of discussion.
It can be good to confront someone directly instead of letting things fester.
Create an effective disguise and watch for patterns in behavior in order to gain access. The level of cleverness is increased when the object of your focus is someone equally as clever.
Don't forget to be aware of verbal clues. It's important to notice when it's no longer comfortable or desirable to continue that line of discussion.
It can be good to confront someone directly instead of letting things fester.
Monday, December 29, 2014
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 25 (Season 2 Episode Funhouse)
This episode was a perfect example of the 5 Stages of Grief: Denial. Bargaining. Depression. Anger. Awareness. (Note: This revelation didn't come to me until after I began writing this edition. How clever!)
Sometime we don't want to believe something we ignore the evidence/signs. We live in a state of denial.
Dreams can have hidden memories. Dreams can act out hidden urges.
Tony is made vulnerable by food poisoning. As a result Tony admits to Carmella that he is depressed and that it all "a big nothing". Carmella tells Tony that is his mom talking.
Tony gave his mother plane tickets that he got in scam. He was angry with her and maybe sub-consciously gave them to her in hopes that she would encounter difficulties. Also, he would experience the drama as a result.
When you create a distraction you can often find out the truth.
Dr. Melfi knew something was wrong with Tony during their session. Words are not the only clues to a person's state of mind. There are other clues in their behavior that alert you to their real state.
If you are wondering why all the grief...Tony had been ignoring all the signs that Pussy was an F.B.I. informant. In this episode it is finally revealed and dealt with. So long Pussy...
Friday, December 19, 2014
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 24 (Season 2 Episode The Knight in White Satin Armor)
This is an episode that has an explosive ending that I have hinted at in the past. I have been anxiously waiting watching this one over again.
Old themes are starting to pull together at the close of Season 2. New themes are developing.
Old themes would be the relationship with Tony's mother. New themes would be how Tony is attracted to the same type of woman. Which ironically is also tied to the old theme. But, more to reveal later.
Tony provided a wise quote from this episode, "those who want respect give respect".
When Tony tries to leave his girlfriend of two years she threatens to kill herself. She makes good on her word but is fortunately unsuccessful. We will see that this pattern becomes a reoccurring theme and a lesson for Tony to learn down the road. He will finally put the pieces together about this truth and how his mother influenced these poor decisions.
Richie is still trying to permanently eliminate Tony. With Jr.'s blessing Richie tries to get others in the extended family to agree to the move. However, he failed. After telling Jr. that he wasn't able to get an agreement Jr. has a change of heart. As he tells Bobby that he feels that he would be better off with Tony because Richie "couldn't sell it". He didn't have everyone's respect. Jr. realized that he was backing the wrong horse. So, Jr. pulls a fast one and warns Tony about Richie's plan. When Jr. admitted that he knew about the plot because Richie told him in his own home you could see the look on his face. He was worried that Tony wouldn't believe him. Fortunately for him Tony decided to trust Jr. even after all their bad history. Sometimes it's best to step back from a problem and look at it without emotion and analyze it for the best outcome.
After learning about the threat on his life Tony decides to take out Richie. Little did he know that a few hours later his sister would be calling him to his mother's house to cart off the body of Richie. Which leaves me to a very big wisdom lesson - don't piss off a woman! Richie and Janice were arguing. Towards the end of the argument Janice was saying what does it matter even if Richie's son was gay. That made Richie hit Janice in the jaw with this fist. Not a slap mind you but a full on hit. Then he said the meanest thing " Oh what, you gonna cry now?" Janice took the gun and wham Richie was taken out. If all men who abused could just suffer the same consequence!
Before Tony leaves the house after cleaning up the evidence there is a scene between Tony and his mother. When his mother begins to say bad things about Janice he tells Janice to leave. Then Tony begins to confront his mother about their upbringing. I don't think that it was until just then that Tony realized his mother really doesn't understand what she did. As Tony is dropping Janice off at the bus station they talk briefly about why they are the way they are. Tony admits to Janice that he is going to a psychiatrist and that she thinks it's because they were raised by a woman who had a narcissistic personality who can't experience joy.
Old themes are starting to pull together at the close of Season 2. New themes are developing.
Old themes would be the relationship with Tony's mother. New themes would be how Tony is attracted to the same type of woman. Which ironically is also tied to the old theme. But, more to reveal later.
Tony provided a wise quote from this episode, "those who want respect give respect".
When Tony tries to leave his girlfriend of two years she threatens to kill herself. She makes good on her word but is fortunately unsuccessful. We will see that this pattern becomes a reoccurring theme and a lesson for Tony to learn down the road. He will finally put the pieces together about this truth and how his mother influenced these poor decisions.
Richie is still trying to permanently eliminate Tony. With Jr.'s blessing Richie tries to get others in the extended family to agree to the move. However, he failed. After telling Jr. that he wasn't able to get an agreement Jr. has a change of heart. As he tells Bobby that he feels that he would be better off with Tony because Richie "couldn't sell it". He didn't have everyone's respect. Jr. realized that he was backing the wrong horse. So, Jr. pulls a fast one and warns Tony about Richie's plan. When Jr. admitted that he knew about the plot because Richie told him in his own home you could see the look on his face. He was worried that Tony wouldn't believe him. Fortunately for him Tony decided to trust Jr. even after all their bad history. Sometimes it's best to step back from a problem and look at it without emotion and analyze it for the best outcome.
After learning about the threat on his life Tony decides to take out Richie. Little did he know that a few hours later his sister would be calling him to his mother's house to cart off the body of Richie. Which leaves me to a very big wisdom lesson - don't piss off a woman! Richie and Janice were arguing. Towards the end of the argument Janice was saying what does it matter even if Richie's son was gay. That made Richie hit Janice in the jaw with this fist. Not a slap mind you but a full on hit. Then he said the meanest thing " Oh what, you gonna cry now?" Janice took the gun and wham Richie was taken out. If all men who abused could just suffer the same consequence!
Before Tony leaves the house after cleaning up the evidence there is a scene between Tony and his mother. When his mother begins to say bad things about Janice he tells Janice to leave. Then Tony begins to confront his mother about their upbringing. I don't think that it was until just then that Tony realized his mother really doesn't understand what she did. As Tony is dropping Janice off at the bus station they talk briefly about why they are the way they are. Tony admits to Janice that he is going to a psychiatrist and that she thinks it's because they were raised by a woman who had a narcissistic personality who can't experience joy.
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 23 (Season 2 House Arrest)
Note: I'm going to try to quicken the pace of these blogs from now on. So, check back often!
This episodes themes: Distraction and Avoidance.
Tony is driven to insulate himself from the business in an effort to fool the authorities after all that murder business and Dr. Melfi is distracting herself with alcohol using it as a coping mechanism.
Tony, in trying to avoid his normal routine, has found more time to think about things which is leading him into a depressive state. Dr. Melfi describes to Tony the anti-social personality disorder Alexithymia. The sign of this disorder is the need to be in constant motion. People with this disorder do not fair well when they have to slow down. Without directly saying so Dr. Melfi is suggesting that is what Tony suffers from. Further, Dr. Melfi doesn't want to admit that she has a serious drinking problem.
When Tony is confronted about his future brother-in-law selling cocaine on the garbage route after he specifically told him to stop Tony ignores what is being said to him and keeps himself distracted with a mundane task.
Tony apparently has had enough of this slow down and returns to his crime family at the end of the episode and quickly reestablishes himself.
In summary this episode's pearls of wisdom:
Everyone has stereotypes about others.
If you are trying to hide what you are doing insulated by changing what you are doing and avoiding the appearance of any wrong doing.
It happens sometimes that the behavior you claim to abhor you actual start mimicking that very behavior.
This episodes themes: Distraction and Avoidance.
Tony is driven to insulate himself from the business in an effort to fool the authorities after all that murder business and Dr. Melfi is distracting herself with alcohol using it as a coping mechanism.
Tony, in trying to avoid his normal routine, has found more time to think about things which is leading him into a depressive state. Dr. Melfi describes to Tony the anti-social personality disorder Alexithymia. The sign of this disorder is the need to be in constant motion. People with this disorder do not fair well when they have to slow down. Without directly saying so Dr. Melfi is suggesting that is what Tony suffers from. Further, Dr. Melfi doesn't want to admit that she has a serious drinking problem.
When Tony is confronted about his future brother-in-law selling cocaine on the garbage route after he specifically told him to stop Tony ignores what is being said to him and keeps himself distracted with a mundane task.
Tony apparently has had enough of this slow down and returns to his crime family at the end of the episode and quickly reestablishes himself.
In summary this episode's pearls of wisdom:
Everyone has stereotypes about others.
If you are trying to hide what you are doing insulated by changing what you are doing and avoiding the appearance of any wrong doing.
It happens sometimes that the behavior you claim to abhor you actual start mimicking that very behavior.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 22 (Season 2 Episode Bust Out)
sociopath
a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
Tony Soprano would make a great subject for someone studying a sociopath. He has no sense of boundaries and has the inability to draw lines at where friendship ends and abuse begins. He feels completely justified in ruining someone's life because he is owed a debt. I get that, I might feel the same. But, what unnerves me is how he tries to be friendly to this individual. As if they can somehow preserve their history of friendship. He's unaware that his actions have consequences. Or it could be he just doesn't care. He really seems unaware. If he had that awareness maybe he would find another way around the debt he is owed. It's a good example of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
But, back to the Wisdom of the Sopranos. Sometimes it's best to know all the facts before speaking. I do wonder about the nativity of some people. There is a witness to the killing from the previous episode. The witness sees photos of the murder and witnessed Tony and another man (it was Pussy) leaving the scene. Now I don't know much about the study of criminology but wouldn't the fact that these murders didn't really fit the stereotype of a random act of violence. If it's not random then what would it be? Now I'm not saying you should turn a blind eye to crime. But, maybe a little selectivity might be necessary. Here's another aspect of this little wisdom - maybe you will not question why people don't come forward when they witness something. Maybe they are scared. Honestly, wouldn't you be scared?
Carmella is caught in bed reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Maybe she identifies a bit?
When children get older they start to see their parents as people. Meadow has been experiencing this with her father for some time. In this episode Tony has a little too much to drink and has a conversation with Meadow. He told her that he knew that she was more like him than her mother. He also told her that everything he does is for her and her brother. Tony does tell Meadow that she knows she thinks he is a hypocrite. As Meadow walks away she tells her dad that, "sometimes we are all hypocrites." Isn't that true?
If you are tempted by something you shouldn't put yourself in a place where you can succumb to temptation. Stay away.
It should be noted that Janice is just as manipulative as her mother. Back to the parent/child relationship. Sometimes no matter how hard you try there are aspects of your parents that are part of you.
When Tony is talking to Dr. Melfi he discusses the possibility that he creates his own dramas. That is true for him and so many other people.
The best wisdom comes at the very end. While Tony is showing his son Anthony how to steer his boat (and going fast causing a small boat to tip over - because he doesn't have empathy - he's a sociopath you know). He says that when steering a boat you have to anticipate your moves in advance because you can't break or turn quickly. Very true Tony. Very true.
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