The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 44 (Season 4, Episode 6 Everybody Hurts)

When you work a job that you can be on call 24/7 it's best if you don't indulge too much.

It's a myth that you can trust "blood" more.  Loyalty doesn't really come from being related. It doesn't hurt I'm sure but it's not the litmus test on trust.

It's important when you are in a position of power to have someone who can represent you.  Especially, of course, if you are mixed up in this shady business.  It can keep the direct connection between you and your sorry deeds apart.  Makes it hard to track who ordered what. Limits your exposure.

A.J. is trying to piece things together about his dad's business.  His friends and girlfriend seem to be more interested in his family's illicit status.  Be sure your friends like you for who you are. It's important to find people who care about you.

Also, A.J. gets a lesson in humility.  A.J. didn't realize how affluent his girlfriend is until he visits her at her Father's home.  Carmella had bragged to A.J.'s girlfriend about an expensive figurine she had that cost $3,000.  But, it turns out his girlfriend had Picassos on the wall.  It's considered inappropriate to brag about the cost of your possessions.  Despite all the money the Soprano's have they don't really fit in with the money types.  This is a clear class distinction that played itself out with this boast.

Tony finds out in this episode that Gloria committed suicide.  This shades his decisions throughout this episode.  It forces him to question how he treats others asking in a couple of situations, "What am I a toxic person?"

First, Artie tries to get into loansharking through Tony's associate Ralph.  Ralph doesn't lend Artie the money.  Ralph's not a nice guy.  He made a correct calculation that if things went badly Tony wouldn't appreciate the consequences to his long-time friend Artie.  He dresses it up a bit and tells Artie, "If you don't pay me back I won't be able to hurt you".  When Tony finds out he is upset that Artie didn't ask him first.  Tony is feeling very vulnerable at this point still reeling from the realization that Gloria killed herself.  He lends Artie the money.  Of course, the guy who he lent the money too refused to pay him back.  Artie tries to get tough with the guy but the guy ends of pulling his earing out of his ear and hitting him.  So, if you aren't a tough guy you are not going to become one by practicing your speech in front of a mirror Artie.  He's so distraught he calls Tony to tell him that he has taken a bunch of pills and is ending it.  Fortunately for Artie Tony is really in turmoil over Gloria's suicide and he happens to really love Artie so he gives him an out.  Tony is wise to let Artie know that he can't tell anyone he left him off the hook.  Tony's reputation is on the line.

Second, earlier in the episode Tony has dinner with his sister, Janice.  Janice has had a history of mental issues and Tony is wanting to check on Janice and at the same time relieve himself of any guilt he has felt over her past mental anguish.  At one point Tony asks about Janice's relationship with Bobby and Janice thinks Tony is going to say something negative.  Again, Tony says "What am I toxic person?

Thirdly, Carmella has been asking Tony for a long time for a living trust.  Tony is so concerned at this point for appeasing those he cares about he finally agreed to sign the papers.

Another observation.  A.J.'s friends kept bringing up references to the Godfather.  It's interesting when you look at the aesthetics of the Godfather vs. the Sopranos.  Two key elements that made the Sopranos so successful was Tony's much discussed eyes (see prior posts) and the fact that the way they lived was so normal.  Upper middle class climbers.  They didn't look like what people think of as typical mob families.  It's a more modern look at these families that live among us, somewhat hidden behind their manicured lawns and SUVs.  The glamour is gone.  Earlier episodes have Tony  nostalgically remembering their way of life that changed in his time.  The mystic of the mob has been exposed by countless movies, television shows and the prevalence of members who have gave up secrets and named names to get out of convictions.  

Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 43 (Season 4 Episode 5 Pie-O-My)

As I was watching this episode I was afraid that my notes would come up empty.  Surprisingly that is not unusual for me.  It's not until I start pulling it together that I realize there are patterns and underlying themes in each episode.  What I don't know is if this is intentional or the writers thought processes just fall in place of these themes naturally without much thought.

If you don't want people to see what you are up to be sure to go somewhere out of sight.  The obvious example is the FBI meeting Adrianna in a different town.  The other example is Tony hiding money right under Carmella's nose.  It's not revealed yet but she finds his secret money stash.  He's not as clever as he thinks he is hiding his money.

Intimation by silence and staring someone down are demonstrated multiple times in this episode.  People are afraid of silence and will attempt to fill up the void by talking.   They are equally uneasy by being stared at.  Making direct eye contact while demonstrating a subtle threat can be extremely intimidating.   I'm thinking of Bobby talking to a Union Rep at a bar, Tony with his hand out to Ralphie for a bigger payout, the FBI sitting in the front seat not saying anything with Adrianna in the back squirming, Uncle Jr. staring down the court room artist as he was not happy with how he was being drawn and Janice standing in Bobby's kitchen waiting for her competition to make an exit.

Janice, as always, is adept at identifying her mark and going in to close the deal.  Janice has laid her sights on Bobby whose wife just passed away.  Janice is one of those characters that if she was really honest with herself and was a man she probably would have been vying for Tony's place.  But, she is ultimately too careless to have been successful.  Now she has decided to be the wind beneath Bobby's wings.  Not the first time she has tried this.  But, she's really good at it.   She feeds Uncle Jr. some positive lie about Bobby that her father supposedly said then talks to Bobby about getting back to work.  That one really likes to pull the screws.

Some people deal with stress and disappointment by doing drugs.  (This is an easy and so obvious pearl of wisdom brought to us  by our two lovebirds Michael and Adrianna.)

Tony has the compassion and love for animals.  I don't quite get it.  Maybe he feels the only true innocence lies in animals.  Maybe it's his judgement that all humans are guilty and unworthy of our fullest respect.  But, animals are just animals.  There is no stigmatism of sin.

Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 42 (Season 4 Episode 4 The Weight)

Johnnie Sack is still reeling from the mean hearted joke that Richie said about his wife Jeannie and her weight.  This one joke leads to suspicion, revenge and judgements of worth to the organization.

There is a fine line between being paranoid and correct in thinking people are talking about you.  It's not always easy to determine this so it's best to weigh the consequences of how you react.

Sometimes being honest is the best approach.  If who you are talking to is known to understand where you are coming from it's best to just being honest.  Understanding came come from being forth coming.

If someone is leaking your secrets you can become suspicious of everyone, jeopardizing your relationship with others.

Never apologize for something you didn't do.  If you apologize you might as well admit you did it.

Don't let the personal interfere with business.  It clouds your judgement.

Not backing someone up creates enemies.  If you know your actions are creating an enemy you need to swiftly move to address the lingering issue.

Carmela brought Anthony Jr. over to Furio's in an effort to provide cover for why she was there. Bringing someone else in your ruse even without their knowledge makes an appearance of being an innocent visit.

When you love someone you can see past their flaws.

When you are a victim of a crime you can't blame yourself.  The location, circumstances, etc. does not make you guilty.

Johnnie Sack finally let's it go when he finds out Jeannie has been cheating on her diet all this time.  Meanwhile his boss gave Tony the nod to take him out.  At the same time Johnnie had a hit on Richie that he called off.  The net loss to both Tony & Johnnie was half of their payments to their respective hit men.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 41 (Season 4 Episode 3 Christopher)

Christopher Columbus Day, Native Americans, Italian stereotypes and childhood trauma all combine to make this episode's theme victimization.  Everyone is a victim.

Paulie is in jail and causing problems from within.  Since he's not around no one suspects that he is the leak spilling family business to New York to gain favor.  As Tony says, "someone is talking too much and costing me money".  Sometimes its easier to instigate trouble when you appear at a distance.

You never know when it's the last time you see or talk to someone.  Be sure to tell them you love them (okay, only if you love them) so if it is the last time you know they went out knowing it (and you'll feel better about that last interaction too).

Don't bite the hand the feeds you Padre.  The Priest had a speaker that talked about Italian stereotypes of Italians being in the mob.  You could feel the embarrassment Carmela and her family friends felt sitting at that table.  It seems the Soprano family has given a great deal of money to the parish and perhaps the Priest should have been more careful about subjecting Carmela to the humiliation.  (However, I think the Priest erred earlier when he actually took money from the Sopranos.)

There gets to be a point in a protest where you just go too far and violence erupts.  We've seen this played out recently (unfortunately).  It happens in this episode when some friendly Italian guys came to voice their concerns about the Native Americans protesting the Christopher Columbus holiday.  Things can quickly get out of control.

Janice, Tony's absolutely manipulative sister is seeing a counselor.  They don't say but I'm pretty sure from the way this woman interacts with Janice that she's not qualified professional.  Of course, Janice wouldn't want real growth.  She just wants sympathy.  Janice was talking about how much she suffered as a child.  Janice acts of it she is the ultimate poster child for victims.  Which she isn't.  If you know what answers you want to hear, find someone who will tell it to you.  Also, if you can't muster the courage to end a relationship just make up a stupid reason to argue.

There is no such thing as a free ride.  Tony was reminded of this when an Native American Indian Chief invited him and this associates to a casino.  What the Chief ultimately wanted was Frankie Valli to perform at the Casino.  He figured Tony could make the call.

This episode ended, appropriately enough, with Tony asking the question about what ever happened to Gary Cooper?  He was talking about the image of Gary Cooper as the silent, strong man who did what he needed to do.  Gary Cooper didn't whine.  He was a man.  So, back to the theme.  Gary Cooper, I suppose, is NOT A VICTIM.

Everyone should quit whining at this point and get on with it.  If we would all collectively do this who knows where we would be as a country.  (Now I'm probably going to hear from someone.)

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 40 (Season 4 Episode 2 No Show)

So far I agree with my earlier assessment that after Season 3 The Sopranos takes a huge dip in quality.  It's just not the same show.  I've been trying to put my finger on it but I think it's the growing cast.  Too many new characters.  What was once a strong ensemble cast is expanding with people that we really don't care about.  You develop a tentative relationship to the characters on a show. When too many new people are introduced it starts to dilute the story lines.  It also causes further detachment of any empathy you might feel towards the characters.

Aside from the lesson of not introducing too many new characters to a winning show is what wisdom can be learned from this episode of the Sopranos? 

Careful when making derogatory comments that you don't want to get back to the subject when you are in a room full of people.  Someone will repeat what you said. Even if you trust everyone because someone will think it's funny and of no consequence to repeat. 

Sometimes actions have to weighed not by the immediate results but as part of a big picture.  For example, what seems like a small thing might, in the big scheme of things might be ultimately harmful.

If a person seems to be waffling on their opinions about something it's not always that they are fickle. They might be trying to work out how they feel, or what they believe, about it.

You can undermine someone in such a way that the person you are trying to get back at knows it's you but you can still claim innocence.  But, the message is still heard.  You just have to be prepared for the consequences. It's a gamble. 

Carmela and Tony are discussing Meadow's attitude about going back to school. She has been angry all summer.  Carmela told Tony that it is she that Meadow blames.  Why do we think that is?  I think Carmela realizes while Tony's level of involvement in that thing of theirs is part of who he is, it's inescapable.  However, Carmela has had a choice all this time.  She could have either not entered this marriage or at some point after the marriage could have left Tony.  By staying she is being submissive to Tony.  No matter how strong Carmela appears to be she's really dependent on Tony.  Meadow is a young woman trying to learn what it means to be a woman and can't really look to her mother for how to be a strong, independent woman.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 39 (Season 4 Episode 1 For All Debts Public and Private)

Side Notes:

The tragedy of 9-11 happened between Seasons 3 and 4 and the same fear and apprehension that we all felt was reflected well in this episode of the Sopranos.  Economic downturn was interfering with business.  Tony & Carmela fought about money, and the future if something was to happen to Tony.  The best line came from Carmela, "everything comes to an end".  I've always felt that Season 4 was the beginning of the end of the Sopranos.  The show no longer had the same outstanding quality of the first three seasons.  After Season 4 I quit re-watching episodes.  Where I watched Seasons 1-3 probably 5 times before I started this blog and Season 4 for maybe twice, I didn't re-watch Seasons 5 & 6.  I just didn't think they stood up to the earlier seasons.  Since many years have passed maybe I can look at these episodes with fresh eyes and gain a different perspective.  We'll have to see. But, more about the episode at hand.

Christopher is doing drugs and hiding it by shooting up in his foot instead of putting the needle some place where others can see.  So, if you want to do something that you want to keep secret find a way to hide it under everyone's noses or in this case feet!

It's important when you are trying to curry favor that you pick the right time to talk.  Knowing when someone is receptive to what you are saying is vital.  It helps, therefore, to know the person you are trying to persuade. 

Tony sets Christopher up to kill a retired police officer.  He tells Christopher that this man killed this father.  When Christopher goes to kill him the man tells Christopher that he's been set up.  Christopher tells him that it doesn't matter, that the person who told him this wants him dead.  This isn't a lesson so much for you, my reader, as it was for Christopher.  He knew that this man may not have really killed his father but if Tony wanted him killed it was his job.  So, Christopher understood his responsibility to Tony.

Be suspicious if someone tries come to your aid if it seems they might gain financially from what they are proposing.  For example, Tony find out that there is economic development coming into an area where  Uncle Jr. has property.  Tony offers to buy it from Uncle Jr. to help him get money for his upcoming trial.  Of course, maybe I can't really blame Tony.  After all Uncle Jr. did try to get Tony wacked.  What a crazy family!

When you are trying to appear more powerful or important let the person you are talking to know that something they did wasn't acceptable.  Even a subtle reminder but very effective.  It's like scolding a child.  I'm referring to the Boss  of NY who told Tony that he heard he had a cookout.  When Tony said he did the Boss of NY told him, "A don doesn't wears shorts".  Tony was clearly irritated at being told this but all he could do is ignore the unkind comment.  (If memory serves me right I believe David Chase was interviewed one and told a story where a real wise guy came up to him and told him he enjoyed the show and it was really realistic.  However, the part where Tony was wearing shorts would never happen.  A wise guy doesn't wear shorts.)

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 38 (Season 3 Episode 13 The Army of One)

When something unpleasant is going to happen you sometimes prepare others for it by sitting the stage.  You sprinkle hints in conversation so that when the bad outcome happens it's not a surprise.  Also, it covers your responsibility if you are successful at directing the blame elsewhere.

The best quote of this episode comes from a guy Jackie Jr was staying with when he was in hiding.  It actually harkens back to the last episode about not taking short cuts.  Jackie Jr. was playing chess and he got frustrated and hit the chess pieces.  The response from this guy was "Play it out it's the only way your going to learn."

Pick the right time to talk to someone.  It's important to know the person well enough to know when they will be receptive to what you are saying or asking for.

Don't be the first to show up at a party.  It makes you look too eager.

Sometimes when you are a boss you have to make difficult decisions.  If your lucky though you can delegate some decisions to others.  But, even if you do that your still responsible in everyone's opinion.

This is the official end of the first half of the running of the Sopranos.  I always thought that past Season 3 the show started to take a downward turn.  When I started this blog I even thought about ending it after Season 3.  But, thinking about everything that is going to happen I think keeping this rolling is a good thing.  I'm looking forward to re-visiting these last three seasons as it's been a while and they weren't watched as often as the first three.