The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 12 (Season 1: Episode 12 Isabella & Episode 13 I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano)

These are the two episodes of the Sopranos that I find most disturbing. The reason is because both Tony's Mother & Uncle conspire to kill him. These revelations weigh deeply on Tony. First subconsciously as I believe he realizes something is going to happen and then later once it does and he gains proof he doesn't dwell on it - he resolves to take proper revenge. The underlying reoccurring theme in this first season is Tony's mother. Dr. Melfi diagnosed Tony's mother as having a borderline personality. Let's face it this woman is a nasty piece of work. She is manipulative, dramatic, paranoid, verbally abusive and spreads guilt around like melted butter on a hot sourdough roll. Tony has tried everything to please his mother to no avail. He finally realizes this in these last two episodes.

One reason this show was so successful was that a character like Tony Sopranos was made to be sympathetic. Someone who murders, manipulates, steals, etc. for a living and we actually want him to be okay. We would rather his mother kill herself already. She is a big noose around Tony's life. There are probably countless others in the real world who have had similar experiences with their parents. This show is relatable- period. It demonstrates that no matter who you are, what you do we all have the same problems in life.

But, I am diverting my attention away from the purpose of this blog - to show the Wisdom of the Sopranos. But, maybe the show itself is wise in it's appeal to the regular person who is watching.

Episode 12 dealt this Tony's serious depression. One of his best friend's has betrayed him and he feels that something is going to happen. And of course something does happen. His Uncle issues a hit on Tony's life. After days of sleeping and apparently hallucinating/dreaming about a women named Isabella from the "old country" he leaves to see the Dr. and an attempt is made on his life. Turns out Tony's serious depression takes a turn. He wants to live and fights with his assassins to insure he lives to see another day and to take revenge. It's said that nothing give you a new release on life than an encounter with death.

Tony's relationship with this mother comes to a head in Episode 13. It's the great reveal by the F.B.I. that his mother has indeed conspired to do the worst - kill her only son. She further adds insult to injury by revealing a secret to a friend of Tony. Misguided in his method as Tony might have been attempted to save him from ruin. The friend though didn't take it that way at least initially. So, sometimes you can do someone a favor but it backfires.

Sometimes what happens to you, or doesn't is a matter of timing. Circumstance really.

"Someday soon you'll have a family of your own and if you're lucky you'll remember the little moments. Like this. That were good."

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 11 (Season 1: Episode 11 Nobody Knows Anything)

Never have more on you than you feel comfortable loosing (such as money).

Physical problems can be rooted in psychological problems. Remember that headache you got on a particularly stressful day at work?

Sometimes there are non-intended consequences to advice. When someone is asking you what you think they should do, etc. be cautious in your approach. The results may not be what you intended.

Some people create drama to get attention. Maybe if we paid attention to those around us more there wouldn't be so much drama.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 10 (Season 1: Episode 10 A Hit is a Hit)

We all want to move past stereotypes and feel like we belong. Stereotypes go beyond even opinions of people who are different. There are even stereotypes within your own group. We all live with stereotypes. Even if we don't want to admit it, we do.

Everyone wants to feel like they belong. That's probably why most people stick to people who they feel they can most identify with. I know that I would feel very uncomfortable trying to hang out with a multi-millionaire. I wouldn't feel like I have anything in common with them. What would we talk about? Suspicion arises when someone who is different from you asks you to join them for an outing. Is it possible their motives are less than kind? Do they want you around for amusement? Are you a novelty to them? Honestly, if you have ever been in this situation do you not wonder?

As long as people want something from you they will tolerate your (choose an option) offensive/boring/irritating behavior. Once they get what they want they will disappear from your life.

Am I being to harsh? Maybe. But, keep in mind I'm following the wisdom of the Sopranos. Many people don' t make it out alive on this series. Anything less than complete frankness just will not cut it on this blog...

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 9 (Season 1: Episode 9 Boca)

If you have ever been to a children's ballgame you will see parents who seemed more motivated than their own children to win. It's as if the parents are trying to relive their own childhood through their children.

It's important that as a loyal friend you know when you are being told something in confidence even if it's not explicitly stated. Be sensitive to what should be kept private about someone even before they ask you to not talk about it. When you know someone so well and they reveal something they might be thinking that due to the nature of your relationship that is already private and that you will not discuss with others. Revealing secrets can sever a relationship irreparably.

We all feel at one time or the other that we have the responsibility to set things right - even when we are not directly involved. It's important to understand these feelings and have an appropriate response. It's not always our responsibility to act. Be careful to not be the judge and jury.

Just some raw human stuff...staring down your prey long enough can be an effective method to gaining submission. Also, remember to choose your words wisely. Insults can lead to counter insults which can get out of control.

As our society seems to be more and more casual in our dress and appearance this reflects a societal change. "Values today, standards are crumbling." Nicely said Artie Bucco!

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 8 (Season 1 Episode 8: The Legend of Tennessee Molisanti)

Every ethnicity has it's stereotypes. It's not always those on the outside who promote these stereotypes. Sometimes it's an inside job.

When you don't feel you are getting the proper respect or recognition you sometimes lash out on others who you perceive as inferior or weak.

If you are going to hide something hide it in an unexpected place.

Some people don't want to just survive. These are the people who desire to create drama in their lives and thus in the lives of those around them. Real life is not like the movies which is why people sometimes get frustrated with the monotony of day to day. It even causes some to act irrationally and subconsciously do things to further their cause of needing drama in their life. To quote Christopher Molisanti, "The f!?!? regularness of life is too f!?!? hard for me or something."

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 7 (Season 1 Episode 7: Down Neck)

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

The reoccurring theme weaved throughout this episode is consequences.

Be cautious in your undertakings and think of the consequences before acting. Handling things by simply how you feel or running on impulse is a disaster waiting to happen.

Be careful about what you say around children. They are liable to repeat what they hear and sometimes to the wrong people. Children do not fully understand the consequences of repeating what they know to others.

There is always a point in your life when you figure out who your parents are. However, this usually comes to you when you are an adult yourself and can put past experiences together with the correct perspective.

Not everything or everyone can be taken in the context of black and white. (I'm not talking about race.) Sometimes people are just complicated and their actions really do not make sense.

Some people are just high on the drama. Oh, you know the type. We all do...

What continues to amaze me about the Sopranos in re-watching these episodes is what a genuine masterpiece it was. I've already reviewed the many aspects of the show that I am not discussing here (mainly because I'm trying to blog not write a 12 volume encyclopedia.) But, I do want to continue to acknowledge the immense planning that must have went into this show. Did David Chase intend to make this show with tidbits of wisdom throughout? The story is on its surface about wise guy and his crew. I mean is a wise guy someone who has figured out the way to handle things and manipulate circumstances to their needs? Is this all just an natural progression of what its all about anyway? Without the wisdom there would be no show? Yes, I would say this show would not be of any value without the wisdom. It's not like Gilligan's Island where quite frankly wisdom just wasn't in play.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 6 (Season 1 Episode 6: Pax Soprana)

When you need to make a request of someone who will not be receptive you could trying taking an indirect route to getting a message across. Ask a carefully chosen person to intervene on your behalf. Not only is this effective in getting what you want but this plan also has two positive side effects. First, you flatter the person by placing them in your confidence and making them feel as if they have influence. Second, you have created the illusion that you are not involved in the decision. Thus, you have avoided risk if the request backfires.

Know who your friends are and keep them happy. Share your good fortunes. Don't profit from their losses.

Sometimes we project onto others characteristics that seem to be missing from our loved ones. Thus, we think these people possess attributes that they really don't have.