The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 34 (Season 3 Episode The Telltale Mozadell"

For the last few years on Thanksgiving I make Italian food and watch either the Godfather or Godfather II.  I rotate every year.  This year it was Godfather II.  I bring this up because Michael Corleone spent most of the movie trying to figure out who tried to have him killed on his very secure, sprawling Lake Tahoe estate.  He knew it had to be someone close.  As Michael explained "My father taught me many things here — he taught me in this room. He taught me — keep your friends close but your enemies closer."  Michael knew that it was only a matter of time before he found out who was behind the failed assassination attempt. 

Listening and picking up on sometimes subtle clues can be vital in life.  Someone like me who talks more than she should sometimes misses the important stuff.  It takes disciple to get this right.  Fortunately for me I don't have hit men trying to dispose of me.  But, you get the point.  Sometimes it's to your advantage to just sit back and take it all in.

What I don't know, and I really wish I did, was if David Chase really created these shows with specific themes wrapped up in each episode. Is it happy coincidence or am just reading into things a bit too much? 

I bring up the Godfather II reference because this installment of the Sopranos is about picking up on clues.  First, Jackie Jr. is having Meadow write his school paper for him.  She's young so I won't give her a hard time.  But, I wanted to scream out to her at this scene and tell her "He's using you!  Can't you see that???"

Tony is continuing his affair with Gloria, the manic suicidal sex kitten.   He tells her he has never met anyone like her before.  But, is that really true?  Notice how when Gloria says "poor you" he winces.  I actually think he was close to fainting.  (How many takes did they do to accomplish that?  Masterful!)  Before that he confronted her on the fact that he doesn't like to play games.  Later she tells Tony that he is really in love with himself.  There are clues for Tony on why he was attracted to her in the first place.  She is emotional damaged goods. Tony has had enough therapy to figure this out, even if you haven't. 

Jackie Jr. asks Ralph for a gun.  (As a side note I really hate Ralph.  He is the lowest of the low.  He will get his and I'll be sure to have a glass a wine to celebrate again!)  But, one of the wisest of all lines comes from this scum-buckets mouth when explaining what kind of gun is best, "the best kind of gun is one that the mother****er is going to work". 

Jackie Jr.'s posing as a tough guy with effective connections was practically comical.  You need to earn your stripes Jackie Jr.  Inheritance is only part of it.  Your acting like you are already made.  But, really you haven't even waded in the water yet.  So, although people say you should fake it until you make it, being in their world is probably not a place where this saying is transferable.  Cut it out Jackie Jr. or your going to get yourself wacked! (That's not a real prediction.  I've seen every episode already several times.  So, I'm not faking it until I make it on this one!)

Anthony Jr. gets himself in trouble at school.  He and his friends vandalized the pool at school after breaking in one night.  But, since he is so important to the football team the school lets it slide this time.  Carmella wanted the school to punish him.  But, every effort of punishment such as detention was thrown back as basically being harmful to the children.  There isn't really any wisdom in there except for me to say that's stupid. 

Side note: Who knew that Lady Gaga was in this episode?  No, really Lady Gaga.  It was before she was Lady Gaga.  Check out the pool scene with Anthony Jr.  she's one of the girls smoking cigarettes.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 33 (Season 3 Episode He is Risen)

It's a sign of respect to immediately and warmly greet your boss.  Further, if your boss extends an invitation to you it's important to accept.  If you don't truly have the respect of the boss even when you have been promoted you are probably ultimately not going to be successful.

Sometimes it's difficult to listen when you think others aren't sensitive to your problems.  A one sided relationship is not sustainable.

It takes a lot of strength to not want a hero to rescue you.

When you are in  a position of strength you can make someone wait for you before they are even acknowledged.  (It's called posturing.)

When an apology is in order don't be surprised if the recipient of the apology asked what it's for. They might want to know you are apologizing for the correct offence(s).

The Wisdom of the Soporanos Part 32 (Season 3 Episode Second Opinon)

Part of a child's development into adults is to learn from their mistakes.  Therefore, as a parent you shouldn't throw the choices they made in their faces when the decisions they made go bad. 

It's possible when someone seems angry at you about something it actually doesn't have anything at all to do with what just happened.  Instead the incident may have triggered a memory of something completely unrelated.  Fish triggers a memory for Tony and a dispute over orange juice between Carmella and Tony is not what it seems. 

There is a another situation of an illusion of reality.  The older generation revere doctors.  Doctors can do no wrong in their eyes.  Especially doctors who have a name like Kennedy.  Uncle Junior revered his Doctor Kennedy so much that he made excuses for the doctor.  But Tony, a younger man than his Uncle Junior wasn't as impressed with the Doctor and dealt with the situation in the only way someone like Tony could.  Intimidation disguised as generosity while invading the Doctor's personal space. 

Sometimes you try to do the right thing and it backfires.  For example, when Dr. Kennedy goes to the Medical Board about Uncle Jr. to discuss treatment plans Dr. Kennedy decides that although he thinks surgery is best he doesn't want another doctor to second guess his decision so he goes with chemo. 

It's best to talk to the person you are having an issue with then taking it over their head.  Give them an opportunity to address the issue first.  If it isn't resolved then you can proceed to the next level.

If you are going to the doctor for a serious condition it's a good idea to bring someone with you that has some understanding of medicine.  When you go to speak to your doctor about something serious you know you aren't paying 100% attention - how can you?  Your upset.  You need someone who is neutral and can ask the right questions and can then explain it to your family later.

Carmella makes a huge decision in this episode.  She goes to a psychologist of her own and admits for the first time out loud what her husband does for a living.  The doctor told her he would not take her money.  It was blood money.  He told her that she needed to take her children and leave immediately.  He told her to take nothing...no money and no belongings.  It would be wrong as it was money tainted by the impurity of crime.  When Carmella is confronted like this she has a decision to make.  Does she cleanse herself of the sins of her family or does she stay?  She decides to stay but there is a cost to Tony.  He has to agree to give $50,000 to Meadow's College.  A shake down as Tony described it earlier.  Carmella tells him he must do it...he needs to do it for her.  Of course he relented and gave in.  I wonder though what would have happened at that point if he had said no?  He didn't know what was a stake with that answer.  (I for one would never think Carmella would leave that house with nothing but the clothes on her back.)

Spoiler Alert...If you  haven't actually watched the entire catalog of Sopranos don't read any further...(Why are you waiting by the way???) Knowing what is going to happen in the future when you watch these episodes over again adds a new level of understanding.  It takes a great deal of planning and strategy to line up these story lines.  It's obvious that David Chase knew where he was going with these character's development.  (At least up until the last two season - but maybe when I re-watch I'll change my opinion.)  Uncle Jr's incident with the blender...just like the time he put his hand in the sink drain made me realize they were showing us his descent into dementia. 

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 31 (Season 3 Episode University)

Interference, boundaries and extreme measures are the key lessons of this episode.

It's wise to remember that you are not always welcome in conversation. 

Know your place, don't interject when not wanted.

Don't overstep your boundaries with not only verbal  but physical interactions as well.

(One very small example is Meadow raising her glass to have her mother fill it.   She doesn't of course.  Meadow is a grown woman.  She has to get her own juice now.)

Hard lesson that many people face in their lives is when you give someone something they want and once they get it they leave.  It makes you, rightfully so, more cautious in the future.

Some people take extreme measures in dealing with issues.  Noah placing a restraining order on Meadow's roommate because she talked while he was studying and he got a poor grade.  Ralph beating his mistress to death because she had the nerve to expect him to marry her after getting her pregnant.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 30 (Season 3 Episode Another Toothpick)

It's possible that when someone appears to be angry or upset about someone else's situation it's not really about that person, it's really about themselves.

When someone asks you to do something and you do it but it fails you can cover yourself by saying you didn't do it and give a good reason why you didn't.  The other person will probably never know that it was really because it didn't work out when you tried.

Respect the chain of command even if you don't agree.  Also, if you are the boss always have your supervisors' backs.  Don't show disagreement in public with their performance or judgment.  If you have a problem tell them off to the side where no one can hear.

Some people use humor to express anger.  They mask their anger with jokes.  However, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to be taken seriously when you joke all the time.

What you say, or ask of others can result in unintended consequences.  If you are not clear what you are asking for can be miscommunicated with less than ideal results.

When you need to provide punishment or bad news and you are going for maximum effect it's best to get them off guard.  So, when they least expect it you can provide this punishment.

Want to get out of something?  Pick a fight about something related and then introduce the extreme result of the argument - which is what you want anyway.  You have just created the illusion of spontaneity in your decision making.

Some people just can't be bought.

Sometimes you are the hunted.  Other times you are the prey.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 29 (Season 3 Episode Employee of the Month)

As soon as I saw the title to this episode I immediately recalled what happens to Dr. Melfi.  It's one of my favorite installments because of the ending.  Dr. Melfi is raped as she was leaving work.  It is a very difficult piece to watch.  Her attacker gets off without charges due to a technicality.  Dr. Melfi has a dream (as I've stated before dreams can really have underlying meanings) and when recounting it in therapy she comes to the realization that all she has to do is tell Tony about the rape and he would take care of her rapist.  She had satisfaction in knowing that she had the power to have him "squashed like a bug".  In the end of the episode Tony is in a session with Dr. Melfi.  She begins to cry and he comforts her.  I know he suspected something was wrong in their earlier session.  It's in his eyes, his suspicion.  Dr. Melfi asked him to go back to his chair while she collected herself.  Tony asked her if there was something she wanted to say.  It looked to him as if she was going to say something.  She responded with a very firm NO.  Dr. Melfi knew that she would be crossing an invisible line and chose the high ground.  The ultimate wisdom here is that sometimes knowing what you can do, even if you don't act on it, can give you a piece of mind.

You need to be forthcoming about your intentions otherwise people might misinterpret.

When people get mad they tend to lash out at those closest to them.  They also loose their restraint when it comes to their language.

Being the boss, the leader, can be a very parental role.

The Wisdom of the Sopranos Part 28 (Season 3 Fortunate Son)

The main theme in the episode was sons.  Tony realizes the root cause of his panic attacks  and the parallel experiences of Anthony Jr.   It's also about Jackie Jr. (The previous boss' son who is going to college and whose father didn't want him involved in the family business.)  There are comparisons between the futures of Jackie Jr. and Anthony Jr.

Understanding root cause will help keep panic attacks at bay.  Dr. Melfi brought up the point that anytime Tony has these attacks there is meat involved.  Later Tony remembers one time where he witnessed his father cut off the pinkie of the meat butcher.  Tony's dad tells him that the butcher owed money because he was a gambler and that Tony should NEVER gamble and that a man should honor his debts.  Later that same night when his mother received meat from the same butcher she was very happy.  His dad and mother were full of joy, laughing and dancing in the kitchen together.  Then Tony focused on the meat and passed out.  It was his first panic attack but he didn't realize it at the time. Dr. Melfi sees it as a connection to how Tony will have to be the one to deliver the bacon when he grew up.  (Tony's mother was apparently always happy when she received her meat delivery.  Probably because she knew why they never paid for the meat.  It's a similar pattern being played now with Carmella seducing Tony whenever she suspects he has done something violent or illegal.  It turns her on just as it did Tony's mother years before.)

Things that seem good at first can actually end up bad.

Even secrets that you think are well kept about yourself can still be known to others. 

There are times when the best thing to do is not say anything.  Don't add fuel to the verbal fire.

When you are desperate you do desperate things.

Lastly, we are sometimes destined to repeat history.  When Anthony Jr. is named Defensive Captain of his football team because he has been shown to be a leader he passes out.  Most certainly that is Anthony Jr.'s first panic attack.